Sorry I haven't been around much recently. I have been trying to stay away from the news and current events. Tends to raise the blood pressure and ruin an otherwise good day :).
I am in a bit of a bind as to what to do. Today I was invited to my niece's christening by my Dad which is going to occur this Sunday. I love my niece a lot (first time uncle). Normally I would jump at any chance to be in her life. However, this one is a bit difficult, as it is going to bring up a lot of bad blood and open up old wounds that my family would not like to see. I would like to first start out as saying in my family there is an unwritten "code". That code is "If it is not brought up or looked at, it doesn't exist.".
I mention this code because it is applied to me in so many ways. I would like to start off and say I love my parents and family. That said we do not see eye to eye on a lot of things. For example, I am currently moved in with my boyfriend and we have been living together for about two months now. We have been dating for over a year and things have been wonderful. I am thinking of proposing soon once my finances even out ( I could get married starting August 1st when the I can marry in Minnesota). That said, my parents absolutely hate this. They know what happened because I told them. They don't want to hear any of it and regard him as just a good roommate. That is what they say to other family members and the public. As a result of this I don't tell them anything of my relationship or anything related to this. They won't even acknowledge how much good it has done for me. Such as I am now off of many meds and just down to about 48mg of Citalopram to control my depression. This is an issue because I have to basically lie about how things are going in my life.
Now since this my sister many are probably wondering "Why does it matter what my parents think?" This is a good question. My sister while not as strong in her convictions as my parents, is much the same way. I am only invited to big events or if someone needs tech support. It is never anything like a small gathering or anything. So I am thinking the invitation is more along the lines of "Well he is family, so we should invite him or questions would be asked". I have always been the black sheep and it has been just recently me and my sister have been starting to get along. Again lots of bad blood there, but it is getting better.
Second thing is I do not like the Catholic Church, I have a deep grudge against it. Not belittling anyone's personal beliefs, just stating that I really don't see eye to eye with them. Now normally I would go and just follow along with everything just not doing any of the gestures, communion, etc. This is a big issue with my family, a very big issue. First off my mom looks at me like I just died and starts crying which has people concerned for her. Next, both sides of the family (My sister and brother-in-law) are very strong Catholics. I stick out like a sore thumb. Then people start asking questions, my family gets annoyed with me, then the guilt trip starts. Then I get the angry phone call from my mother about everything that transpired and beyond. I know this because it happened before when my sister got married.
I thought about going and just sitting way in the back or sneak into the choir loft so I can watch everything without being noticed. I also plan on getting her a very nice card and a stuffed lamb. I opened a savings account for her about a month ago for college when she was born. I have a little bit of money saved up and plan on putting about half of it in there (I don't have much and live paycheck to paycheck unfortunately). I really don't want to make a scene and ruin this festive occasion. It seems for me at this point I am between a rock and a hard place. Either I go and drama happens, or I don't go and drama happens.
Anyone have any advice or ideas on how I can go about this the right way.